I am sick of laughing, while I feel like crying..
I am sick of playing dumb and happy, although I am sad and depressed..
I am sick of playing around, but feeling like dying..
I would love to end my life, but I am so scared of what would happen after..
I would love to give up, yet I hate this weakness..
I would love to hate, it would make things so much easier..
I never wanted to hurt, I always did it..
I never wanted to be left alone, I always was..
I never wanted to give up, this time I did..
I used to say: Hate me or Love me, I realldy don't care..
that's just a big lie.. a lie, I always said, to protect myself..
I used to say: I don't want, neither do I need any friends..
which as well was always a big lie.. 'cause I need them.. always did..
I used to say: I live in the darkness, the darkness is inside of me..
this isn't a lie and I am still searching for the light which leads my way..
I wished, there would be a way to just die.. not exist anymore..
to take my life, without making anyone sad.. without being afraid, of the after-life..
I wished, there would be a way to undo my mistakes..
so those, I did hurt, would forgive me and not hate me any longer..
I wished, there would be a way to make everyone understand me..
without telling them my problems, without annoying them with it..
I don't want to feel this pain anymore..
I don't want to feel guilty anymore..
I don't want to live anymore..
I will not beg for forgiveness..
I will not wish yout to understand me..
I will not try to end this sorrow and cut it out of my life..
[video=youtube;Q2aM5btBLVU]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q2aM5btBLVU&context=C396fde7ADOEgsToPDskLRWLdT4AnkyMibM0r6PLg3[/video]
I am sick of playing dumb and happy, although I am sad and depressed..
I am sick of playing around, but feeling like dying..
I would love to end my life, but I am so scared of what would happen after..
I would love to give up, yet I hate this weakness..
I would love to hate, it would make things so much easier..
I never wanted to hurt, I always did it..
I never wanted to be left alone, I always was..
I never wanted to give up, this time I did..
I used to say: Hate me or Love me, I realldy don't care..
that's just a big lie.. a lie, I always said, to protect myself..
I used to say: I don't want, neither do I need any friends..
which as well was always a big lie.. 'cause I need them.. always did..
I used to say: I live in the darkness, the darkness is inside of me..
this isn't a lie and I am still searching for the light which leads my way..
I wished, there would be a way to just die.. not exist anymore..
to take my life, without making anyone sad.. without being afraid, of the after-life..
I wished, there would be a way to undo my mistakes..
so those, I did hurt, would forgive me and not hate me any longer..
I wished, there would be a way to make everyone understand me..
without telling them my problems, without annoying them with it..
I don't want to feel this pain anymore..
I don't want to feel guilty anymore..
I don't want to live anymore..
I will not beg for forgiveness..
I will not wish yout to understand me..
I will not try to end this sorrow and cut it out of my life..
[video=youtube;Q2aM5btBLVU]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q2aM5btBLVU&context=C396fde7ADOEgsToPDskLRWLdT4AnkyMibM0r6PLg3[/video]