Pondering.

[ChaosBunny]

What is the strangest conversations you've had? Online... or in real life. Whatever subject... just, the conversation started then took a twist for the morbid, macabre, or just plain strange. One of mine is as follows.

Note: since he did not want his name pasted here, I'll just label him as Him and myself as Me. Easier that way and not as weird as (Username) Him: etc.

Him: OMG YOU
Me: OMG ME!
Him: Where ya been?
Me: Flu
Him: Ah. Been fuckin a piggy have we. ;3
Me: Don't want to take work away from the professionals.
Him: Ah, well, got that script written up yet? I NEED TO DRAW.
Me: When you start drawing I'll start writing.
Him: Okay. ;3 WHAT KINDA TITS DO I DRAW?
Me: Big the best kind. BIG.
Him: I thought you liked them small?
Me: Well, once upon a time in FAP land I discovered this amateur video, upon said amateur video was this Austrian lass. Austrian lass as I'll refer to her, she had this set of things. These sets of things were the best things I've seen uploaded to the online network since the very first tentacle porn picture. As it stands my eyes are still bleeding tears of joy.
Him: orly
Me: rly
Him: How do you know she was Austrian?
Me: Well, the video was named Austrian Amateur.
Him: That one and about one thousand other videos in the internet.
Me: Then explain the signs.
Him: What signs?
Me: In the video fagmaster.
Him: Well, my sweet ol'chap, I've seen them. Real ones I mean. Germanic breasts.
Me: By george! I didn't know that they had real ones in FUCKING EUROPE!
Him: I do not appreciate your sarcasm.
Me: Then don't rub in the obvious.
Him: I wasn not rubbing a thing in. Simply implying if you would take my advice, move your yank ass over here to London you'd have all the titties you could want.
Me: Well, for one, horror stories of Americans moving to, and or touring the European aisles aside. I doubt I'd have ladies lining up to let me get a feel. You're idea is flawed in many ways. Most of those flaws end up with me lying with a cold bag on my cheek, and probably something soft between my legs.
Him: Well, first lesson is do not walk up to someone on the street and say in the tone of idiocy "Wur duh queen wiv?" That is most Americans first mistake.
Me: I doubt half of the American tourists walk up to someone on the street and asks a passerby "Wur duh queen wiv?". It's a bad stereotype that all Americans are moronic fat losers.
Him: Who said anything about fatties?
Me: You thought it.
Him: My bad, anyways!
Him: The real stereotypical tragedy is that all brits say chap.
Me: So you're the exception.
Him: ?
Me: You said chap not ten minutes ago.
Him: That was merely a humoring addition.
Me: orly
Him: rly
Me: Well, next time I'm feeling brave with my throat and balls I'll think about moving to London. Although the problem therein lay with your plan.
Him: Really now. Where is the problem in my plan?
Me: Well, first off, I r Amerikun.
Him: We all cannot be perfect.
Me: I know, it must suck being stuck on a rainy little island. ANYWAYS!
Me: I've vastly noticed a lack of love for my 'kind' amongst your 'kind'.
Him: It's not really nice to refer to europeans as 'kind'.
Me: But it's alright if I refer to americans as 'kind'.
Him: If you want, you are the one living there.
Me: Right.
Him: Hold on my mom needs me, I think she is choking on her chips again.

Ten minutes pass.

Me: Is she all right?
Him: Yes. She eats those way to fast.
Me: You still live with your mom...? How old are you? Twenty five wasn't it? How the hell are you going to get me ass when you still live with your fucking mom? Noble as it is. Unless you're just fat and lazy.
(Username Him) Has signed off.

:twitching: Colin never ceases to amaze me sometimes. When I first met him I thought he was Canadian or American by how he talks and acts. Mainly because most brits I've met are well spoken and polite. Though this one is a real douche. Ta!

 

[akaltar]

My friends and me somewhen addepted a weird habit... when we discuss something we randomly throw in words like toaster or squirrel into the conversation which leads to strange results especially when you got someone around who doesn't know that habit. It's quite funny to confuse people and do some nonsense crap talk

 

[Shino tenshi]

it's almost the same with my friends and me..
if someone asks when (!) something is going to happen we often tell him that it's a little more to the right or stuff like that.. I can't even remember who started that...

But it's kind of funny if everybody does it and the discussion becomes completely sensless...

example:

-when is the party? 8pm?
-hm.. dunno.. maybe a little more to the left.
-or maybe it's just more green than blue.
and so on.. xD

 

[ChaosBunny]

Another good one is when you're really, honestly trying to explain something to someone and they just REFUSE to get what you're saying.

"So he rolled over the hill...?"
"No he hit the hill..."
"How the hell did he hit a hill? you either go up or down a hill. It cannot be straight up or down... otherwise it is a bluff, plateau or mountain.."
"No.. he hit it and it was a hill...."
"You CAN'T hit a hill, so if he was not on his feet while on the hill it is either a slide or roll."
"No... no... NO. With a certain angle it can be almost impossible to go up or down a hill. Therefore an impact CAN happen."
"No..."

And so forth.

 

[Shino tenshi]

yup, sometimes it's hard to tell the difference between a mountain and a hill... xD

 

[Thaddeus]

:twitching: Colin never ceases to amaze me sometimes. When I first met him I thought he was Canadian or American by how he talks and acts. Mainly because most brits I've met are well spoken and polite. Though this one is a real douche. Ta!

Hmm didn't you say he does not want his name published?

Good Thread anyways, I just can't think anything up at the moment.

 

[Bloxxer]

Often, my friends and I would talk about random animals, such as giraffe, at random times. Always seem to be funny in the end. xD