In Regard to Sword Myths
Guns have replaced this archaic simpleton weapon for a good many reasons:
* Myth: Swords are more honorable than guns, case-in-point, Ninjas, Samurai, and Jedi used swords instead of guns.
o FACT: Anyone claiming the above is obviously a cultureless, fucking Wapanese and needs to commit Hari kiri, die of AIDS or become an hero.
* Myth: You can block bullets with your sword if you are skilled enough.
o FACT: You cannot block bullets with your sword. If you are skilled enough to do so, go out and prove it.
* Myth: You don't have to reload a sword, therefore you can use it forever.
o FACT: You must constantly wipe your sword clean of blood and sharpen it, otherwise it will chip and rust away, and then you will have to find your local smithee to forge you a new one. Or you can save up your lunch money and buy another sword off eBay instead of buying that new manga you've been fapping over.
* Myth: Guns are cowardly because you can kill people from far away; swords are the only weapons that take real skill to use.
o FACT: Hacking and slicing away takes too much effort, when you can just sit back, relax and start obliterating Wapanese hoards with your MP40. Also, there is some skill and knowledge required to use a gun correctly.
* Myth: You can run up to a guy with a gun real fast and slice him with your sword before he even gets his gun out.
o FACT: You can try to run up to a guy with a gun real fast and slice him before he even gets his gun out, but unfortunately that broadsword you bought from eBay weighs fifty pounds and your effete wrists just aren't meant to handle such a burden.
* Myth: But swords have the element of surprise!
o FACT: Sure, element of surprise, until you hear the sneaky Samurai dragging a heavy ass chunk of metal around behind you, giving you plenty of time to aim, cock your hammer and shoot him. Sniping is also an effective method against those pesky ninjas, Samurai and pedos.
Chances are, anyone who tries to insist that swords are better than guns is probably Wapanese and has had their brain destroyed by anime. If so, it's legally (and morally) required to challenge them to a gun vs sword duel at at least 100 paces. Three seconds and one smoking shell casing later the world will be a slightly better place.